AMERICA CHANGES YOU...thoughts from my first few days back in Tanzania!

My journey back to Tanzania started last Monday when I woke up at 3:30a.m. to get my last nice long hot shower.  After stopping for Dunkin Donuts coffee, later some breakfast, and sitting in traffic I finaly made it to the airport around 9:00a.m.  I checked in my 4 bags very quickly as I was able to check in at business class!  YES BUSINESS CLASS! (was able to upgrade my ticket for the long flight using miles) It was then time for the final goodbye.  It has been routine to only allow my friend Steph to take me to the airport since the beginning.  I say my goodbyes to my family and other friends before that.  I absolutely hate goodbyes so I have found the less I have to do at the airport the better.  I am usally good at holding back any emotion during the goodbyes it is usually after that I have a good cry after each goodbye and then I am better.  For some reason this time I it didn't come after each goodbye, as if reality didn't set in until I stepped into the airport, and checked my bags in and then it hit.  After 8 months of being around my family for all the major holidays and birthdays, being able to text my friends from the states on a whim and do things with them, I was now leaving that for the next 11 months.  I still knew that God was calling me to get on that plane and fly to Tanzania, but I also know that each time I leave behind my family and friends from the States it gets harder and harder. 

After riding the first leg on Business Class, I was spoiled.  The food is better, the seats recline so that it feels like you are laying in a bed, and you get your own little table storage area.  It was amazing.  Then I was back to the regular seats for the last leg of my flight.  I made it to Tanzania and quickly passed through customs only to wait on my luggage.  Then the memories of what it is like to live here began, and I began to realize how much AMERICA DOES CHANGE YOU!

(These are just my reflections, not to meant to be positive or negative, just what was going through my head as I returned).

* personal space-- In America its just expected and given. You have personal space and others don't invade it.  Well my Tanzanian brain flipped back on so I knew I needed to go get a cart for my luggage and claim a space as close to the luggage belt as I could.  I had the thought to make myself as big as possible so that my space would not be overtaken.  I kept my bookbag on, which was quite big at this point, because I had stuffed my sweatshirt into it.  The guy behind me for about 30 minutes insisted on talking with his hands, and every time he did he had no problem with bumping into my bookbag.  I found myself getting extremely annoyed and thinking does he not realize he keeps hitting me?  As I did that though I also had to smile as an obvious tourist was standing beside me but back from the luggage belt a few steps.  About the time I was thinking she really needs to move closer, another girl slipped in front of her.  The toursit looked annoyed, but all I could do was smile and realize I was back in Tanzania. 

* Patience...I have lost it.  I thought I was getting better at this before leaving Tanzania, but as I returned I realized that America caused me to lose every once of patience I had.  It just isn't tested on a daily basis.  I was so excited to see familar faces when I stepped out of the airport (thank you Ben, Lauren, and Zwadi for picking me up).  I decided before leaving the airport I would "quickly" exchange money, get a sim card for my phone, and buy internet credit.  The money exchange and the internet credit were smooth.  The sim card.....after waiting for 30 min or so they said I couldn't buy one because their network was down :(  There was tons of traffic on the way home, so again patience was tested.  The next day I went to the mall to see if I could get my old phone number back.  After asking and deciding to just get a new sim card the guy told me but our network is down right now (hmm strike 2).  He gladly told me that the store is open till 6:00 though so I could gladly stick around until then to see if the network would come back up.  It was 2:00 at the time, so I quickly said thanks, but no thanks.  I also got frustrated when checking out at the grocery store.  Could she really scan my items any slower?  Then I thought why do we do it so fast in America, why are we so in a hurry that even the person checking us out must go at super speed. 

*Walking pace...I know I have always been a fast walker, but I don't think I realized how fast until I came back here.  Although I did do an experiement in Disney when I tried to walk as slow as the people around me and I just couldn't do it.  In America in stores and on the streets most people walk at a very brisk pace.  Everyone always has somewhere to go and something to do.  As I was walking through the mall, I realized as compared to everyone else around me I was walking extremely fast.  I have been reminded that things here just move at a much slower pace, and it isn't bad I just need to adjust to it again. 

These are just a few things I have observed in the last few days.  I will have to talk about more in my next post. 

Honest thoughts about returning to Tanzania!

Where did the past 8 months go?  It went so fast I didn't even take the time to blog about it! So here is my attempt at restarting the blogging process with thoughts on returning back to Tanzania. 

In the past few weeks as I have processed returning to Tanzania for my next term of service these are some thoughts I have had...

I love what I do in Tanzania and I can't wait to get back to HOPAC and continue to do the work that God has called me to do there!
Do I have to get on the plane, I really don't want to leave?
I hate goodbyes!!!!
I am so excited to see my friends in Tanzania!
How am I ever going to get back into living in Tanzania...I don't want to deal with the bugs, heat, traffic, lack of electricity, and languague difficulties. 
I can't wait to live in one house and have all my stuff in one place again!
Is it really going to be 1 year till I get to see my family and friends in the States again? Why is it that 1 year seems so long to me and many others seemingly easily stay away for 2 to 4 years without coming back?  Maybe I am not a good enough missionary or committed enough to what I do? 
I can't wait to continue to help the students at HOPAC have as many opportunities to play sports as possible.
How can I continue to develop relationships with other schools through sports and share the love of Jesus with them? 
Will I ever feel settled in a place again or do I even want to? 

Yes these thoughts are all completely random things that have been running through my brain in the past few weeks.  The awesome thing is that through it all I know that I am going to serve exactly where God wants me to be.  I have a deep sense of peace about returning to Tanzania to teach at HOPAC.  I am so thankful that I have a God that can handle my doubts and questions.  I am so thankful that even though it might be harder than it has been in the past to step on the plane that God is going to be right there by my side.  I have learned that one reason it is so difficult to leave here is because I have amazing family and friends that have been such an encouragement to me. Thank you all who have made my stay here possible and so very enjoyable that it is difficult to leave.  Thank you for your continued support and prayers as I embark on the next part of the journey that God has for me.  I am so blessed to have so many people behind me and encouraging me to continue doing what God has called me to do.

Looking forward to having this view every morning again!